We all have a family storyteller. Once they have a captive audience at a holiday dinner, they bring out the same old tales.  If true, these fascinating stories bring our ancestors to life. But if you’re a genealogist, the day will arrive when you begin to look at the family story you’ve heard your entire life with questioning eyes.  For us, facts reign so you feel called to prove or disprove the tall tale in your family tree. Here’s a method I’ve used to separate facts from family lore.

A client reached out recently about a family story. She wanted to know if it was true that her great-grandmother had left her children to run off and become a dancer in New York. She heard the story from her grandmother, who was eight years old when she heard it from her father—my client’s great-grandfather—who subsequently left her and four siblings at an orphanage.  

1. The first thing I did was write down all the information I was given about the family story. If you know who the information came from, include that too. Even if it was great Aunt Ethel who told the story, you want to note dates, locations, and who she heard the story from. Nothing is a small fact.

2. While reviewing my pages of information, I had to decide if each source was reliable. A historical document brings a higher level of reliability, but what about Aunt Ethel’s memories? Is she passing on information from someone else, or did she witness it herself? Does she have a letter or photo that confirms a piece of the story? Unless you ask, she may not remember she has it. Lastly, have cousins heard the same story and from whom? 

3. My next step was to try and document all the information I was given while answering surrounding questions. What happened to Dad? Where were her sister and parents living at the time and why didn’t they take the children? Can I find Mom on Broadway?

4. Noting the adage, “where there’s smoke, there’s fire,” remember that most stories have some basis in truth but can take on a life of their own after years of retelling. Look at the facts and try to assess how the story came to be. By keeping your mind open to possibilities beyond true or false, you may find the real story. 

5. Take to the newspapers and search, search, search! I keep a list nearby of different combinations that I have searched for to save myself time. Dad, Mom, family members, children’s names, last known addresses, etc. 

With research, I located Mom in a mental institution two months before the children were noted on the orphanage census. According to records I was able to obtain, Dad signed the forms to institutionalize his wife months after the birth of their youngest child. His form claimed she was insane, which history now shows may have been something as simple as postpartum depression. Dad went on to remarry and father five more children in the same home, never having contact with his first family. I can only assume the children—and other family who were told down the line—believed the story their father told them of her running off. (After reviewing the family in the census, it doesn’t appear they would have been financially able to take the children either way.)  

So this family tale proved to be false and although my client was relieved to know her great-grandmother hadn’t just run off, records sadly show she died in that same hospital many years later never knowing where her children were.  Sometimes the actual story is even more surprising.  

If you have a family story that has been passed down from generation to generation, dig up everything that relates to it and challenge yourself to find the truth. 

Carol DiPirro-Stipkovits is a member of both the National Genealogical Society and Association of Professional Genealogists. She is also Vice-President and Board Chairman of the Niagara County Genealogical Society.